


Silver Spoons

by SwanFloatieKnight



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Attempt at Humor, Domestic Fluff, Dwarves in the Shire, Established Relationship, Husbands, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Nori is a Little Shit, Post-Battle of Five Armies, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29230629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwanFloatieKnight/pseuds/SwanFloatieKnight
Summary: Bilbo's silver spoons disappear.He blames Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, because who else would steal them?But Thorin suspects a different person.
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Dwalin/Nori (Tolkien)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 54





	Silver Spoons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [leeswaggy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/leeswaggy/gifts).



> Yay, crack! XD
> 
> I am happy to announce that I have safely made my way back into Middle-earth and now here I am, writing more Hobbit fics and happily ignoring my upcoming exams, yikes

A/N: I posted this fic on Ao3, and on Ao3 alone. If you read this on any other website or platform, please consider that I did not consent to this.

* * *

When Bilbo had returned to the Shire after the long and adventurous journey that Gandalf had talked him into about a year ago he had been beyond happy that Thorin had come with him. His love for the stubborn dwarf had grown steadily and when after the Battle of the Five Armies Thorin had confessed his love for him Bilbo had thought he would die right here because his poor little Hobbit heard might not be able to handle it.

His heart had been able to handle it, even though it had flown over with joy and love and happiness. Not two whole weeks later he had been engaged with the King under the Mountain, and another three years later Thorin had passed his kingly duties on to Fíli and Kíli and had followed Bilbo to settle down in the Shire. To Thorin’s great joy Dwalin and Nori had decided to join them as well, and as much as he loved Bilbo, Thorin had been excited that he would not have to live among hobbits all on his own to the end of his days. From time to time he just needed the company of other dwarves. It made him feel like home in a way that Bilbo could never give him, and Bilbo knew about this and understood, what confirmed once more that Thorin had married the right man to share his life with.

It had been a lot of trouble to get back Bilbo’s property, to prove to the Shire officials that he, Mr Bilbo Baggins, was very much alive and here and also that he was now married to a certain Thorin Oakenshield. Nearly as much trouble as to get a cosy hobbit hole close to Bag End in which Nori and Dwalin could live as the three dwarves preferred to stay close to one another. Bureaucracy could be a real pain, but eventually everything had been settled, Thorin and Bilbo had moved into Bag End together and started living a quiet and happy life.

Well, not too quiet, though.

Mere months after they had settled in and things seemed to go nice and smoothly Bilbo discovered that a whole bunch of his expensive ancient silver spoons were missing. And he knew at once who must be behind this.

“Lobelia Sackville-Baggins! Oh, if I ever get this spiteful woman into court she will have to pay for this! My precious spoons!” He was fuming.

Thorin tried his best to calm down his husband. “Who knows, maybe you just misplaced them? I’m sure they will show up again eventually. Don’t worry to much, Bilbo, it’s just spoons, I can order new ones from Erebor and they will be of finer craftsmanship than you have ever seen, I promise.” And he made a mental note to order some spoons for their next anniversary.

But Bilbo, even though he smiled a little at Thorin’s offer, could not be comforted. “But they were an heirloom from my mother, Thorin! I appreciate your fine dwarven silver, but it will never be able to fully replace what they meant to me.”

Thorin reached out for Bilbo and the hobbit willingly let himself be pulled into a loving hug. While Thorin ran his strong hands through Bilbo’s soft curls and patted his back a little he made another mental note (because whatever Bilbo might say he would still get him some silver spoons from Erebor. Dwarven cutlery was something this house definitely lacked as it was). He had an idea about who might actually have stolen the spoons because only just yesterday afternoon Dwalin and Nori had been over for tea. That was when Bilbo had last seen the missing spoons and Thorin knew Nori well enough. He was determined to do everything that was within his might and authority as the King under the Mountain to get them back.

His chance came a few days later when Dwalin and Nori invited them for dinner. It was a lovely early summer evening, the air was not too hot yet but it was nice to sit outside and enjoy the last light of the sun that was quickly sinking behind the Ered Luin. Dwalin was just brining out the dessert, lovely sweet strawberries with whipped cream that both Bilbo and Nori (and admittedly also Thorin himself) had been looking forward to already when Thorin thought it appropriate to speak up.

“Tell me, Dwalin, where did you get these lovely spoons from? Ered Luin?”

Dwalin paused for a moment, his slight frown giving away that he had to think about this for a second. “I think we brought them with us when we moved in. From Erebor. Didn’t we, Nori?”

Nori looked up as if he had not listened to the conversation at all – or purposefully ignored it? – and nodded. “Yes, we brought them with us. Can’t you see the stamp at the backside?” He turned around his spoon and showed the crest of Erebor that was engraved in the shiny metal.

Dwalin now turned around his spoon as well, his calloused fingers tracing the anvil, the sign of Durin’s folk, absentmindly. “Erebor… our home… what do you think, Nori, my love, should we not maybe go on another adventure? See our friends and family there? The roads should be safer now, and I would really love to see them again.”

Thorin nodded in agreement. “Ah, yes, back home… I have a pebble on my nightstand that I brought with me from Erebor. I guess a dwarf just needs some stone around,” he laughed, “and it reminds me of home. Of my ancestors, my family and friends who still live there.” He suddenly turned and gave Nori a sharp look. “It’s so nice to have these kind of memories. To have them with me. It would be a shame if someone happened to take them from me. Just like the spoons…” His face softened a little again when he said these last words.

While Nori shrank a little in his seat Bilbo looked at his husband in bewilderment. “Are you well, Thorin?” He put an arm around his shoulders.

Thorin gave him a quick smile. “Oh, I am all right, Bilbo, don’t worry about me.” He looked at Nori again, this time more subtly. The other dwarf got even smaller in his chair, his cheeks blushing a little. “I was just thinking what a shame it was that you lost your spoons so recently. The old silver ones, you know?”

Bilbo sighed. “Ah, well, it’s useless, Lobelia must have taken them, I know it. She’s always been after the house and I’m sure she did not like my surprising return from Erebor, years after they had proclaimed me dead.” He smiled at Thorin. “But she just has to deal with this now. With me and my husband. She can keep the spoons. May she choke on them.”

“I drink to that!” Dwalin lifted his glass. “And now, enjoy these strawberries, and may none of you choke on them.”

Luckily, nobody did choke, neither on strawberries nor anything else, and Thorin and Bilbo spent a very nice, long evening with their neighbours in their lovely garden. They shared many tales of the Ered Luin, of Erebor, of the Shire and of their travels together, and if Nori seemed a bit quieter than usual nobody seemed to notice it.

The next day when Bilbo was putting out plates and knives for their second breakfast the spoons were back. He had not found them somewhere, they just reappeared in his kitchen drawer, as if by magic. When he told Thorin about it his husband only shrugged.

“Maybe they were just hidden beneath something. Or you didn’t look right. You’re getting old, love, your keen eye sight seems to lessen.” He reached across the table and ruffled Bilbo’s hair with a wink.

Bilbo frowned. “I am pretty sure they hadn’t been there this morning. I wonder where they came from. Did you hide them?” He looked at Thorin accusingly.

“Me? I would never! How dare you assume I could have anything to do with your silver spoons?!” Thorin’s outrage was acted, Bilbo knew that and he rolled his eyes.

“All right, drama queen under the mountain. I shall believe you this once.” Still, he looked at the table with a light shake of his head, lost in thought for a moment.

Thorin lightly kicked his shin under the table. “Come on, love, forget about the spoons. They’re back, that’s all that matters. And now, let us have second breakfast in peace.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, please leave me a comment and Kudos! :D


End file.
